Thursday, January 31, 2013

Yes I didn't want to but I have to write about this...sorry to have been away.....

Sometimes I wonder if it was right to stop where I stopped or to continue and move on... I think the latter part of me is right... I want to move on but I also want it to be right. These last several months have really gotten to me and I hate myself at times for what I have become ... a recluse. I had a way then and I didn't choose and I have a way now but do I choose the right one, that is move on or end it here right now? In the last few weeks I have been going through a lot of stress and then there are times when I cannot handle myself and the only way out is to give in by ending this life... but come to a point, I am weak and a coward, I cannot even suppress my own life....!!!!
I am so confused at times... I have everything to live for but nothing gives me pleasure and even my hopes are fading away in the distance. I do not want to bring anyone down with me.
I work as I normally do and I worry as anyone does and I feel like what one feels but deep down inside I feel empty, empty that when I go to sleep at night, I am awake, and feel nothing for the sleep till I get tired and fade away slowly only to realize that its already morning and I don't want to wake up but have to....
This is what I feel for now.....

3 comments:

  1. You are not alone in how you were feeling here , Shaff.
    Many of us feel similarly.
    All things pass......
    Best wishes my friend

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  2. Do you know this song , Shaff - *ANOTHER DAY* by Buckshot LeFonque ?
    "They say what doesn't kill us ~ makes us stronger"
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nc8yfftCcO0

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  3. One day the sun will shine on you .....
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bINmmNpViM

    ReplyDelete